Prepping for death (Part 2): It's your funeral

By The SHTF App Team

Preparing for your own death is not about being morbid; it is the ultimate act of responsibility and love. Grief plus confusion equals conflict. Without a plan, your family faces a tidal wave of decisions while in shock. They may overspend out of guilt or fight over sentimental items. Documenting your wishes provides immense comfort and clarity when your loved ones need it most. You remove the stress, allowing them to grieve rather than manage logistics.

Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for general informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended as, and should not be considered, legal or financial advice.

The Readiness Audit

Have you defined exactly how you want to leave this world?

🟢 Green: You have a written plan for your remains, a funded method to pay for it, and a “Pet Profile” for your dependents.
🟡 Yellow: You’ve told your spouse “just cremate me,” but nothing is written down and no funds are set aside.
🔴 Red: You have no plan. Your family will have to guess your wishes and pay thousands out of pocket.

If you are Yellow or Red, complete this protocol.

1: What to do with your body

There are several common choices for final disposition. Consider which one best aligns with your values.

Traditional Burial

What it is: This typically involves embalming the body, a formal viewing or wake, a funeral service at a place of worship or funeral home, and burial of the casket in a cemetery plot.
Key Considerations: This is often the most expensive option due to the costs of embalming, the casket, the cemetery plot, and the headstone. Do you have a family plot or a preferred cemetery? Do you want a religious or secular service?

Cremation

What it is: The body is reduced to cremated remains (often called “ashes”) through a process of intense heat.
Key Considerations: Cremation offers significant flexibility and is often more affordable than burial. After cremation, your family has many options:
- Interment: The remains can be buried in a cemetery plot or placed in a columbarium niche.
- Scattering: They can be scattered in a meaningful place (be sure to check local regulations).
- Keeping: They can be kept in an urn at home.
Direct Cremation: This is a lower-cost option where the cremation occurs shortly after death, without embalming or a formal viewing beforehand. A memorial service can be held anytime later, with or without the ashes present.

Green Burial (Natural Burial)

What it is: An environmentally conscious option focused on returning the body to the earth naturally. This process avoids embalming fluids, uses a biodegradable shroud or casket (like pine or wicker), and forgoes a concrete burial vault.
Key Considerations: Green cemeteries are designed to be natural landscapes, often with native plants and simple, flat grave markers. A search for “green burial [your location]” or “natural cemetery [your location]” can help you find certified local providers.

Body Donation to Science

What it is: Donating your entire body to a medical school or research institution for the purposes of education and scientific advancement.
Key Considerations: This is a profound gift to future generations.
- Pre-registration is required. You cannot simply state this in your will; you must enroll with a specific, reputable program (like those affiliated with major universities) while you are alive.
- Cost: This is often a no-cost or very low-cost option, as the institution typically covers the cost of transporting the body and, after a period of time, will cremate the remains and return them to the family if desired.

2. Planning for the Costs - The Financial Prep

Funerals and end-of-life expenses can cost thousands of dollars. Planning ahead removes this sudden financial shock from your family.

Method 1: Pre-Need Funeral Plan

What it is: You contract directly with a specific funeral home to plan and pre-pay for your entire funeral.
Pros: You lock in today’s prices, protecting against inflation. All decisions are made, which simplifies things for your family.
Cons: Your money is tied to that specific business. If you move or the funeral home closes, transferring the plan can be difficult. Ensure you understand how the money is held (a trust or insurance policy is best).

Method 2: Final Expense Insurance (or Burial Insurance)

What it is: A small whole life insurance policy with a benefit (e.g., $10,000 - $25,000) specifically designed to cover funeral costs.
Pros: The payout is typically quick, tax-free, and goes to a named beneficiary. It is not tied to any specific funeral home, giving your family flexibility.
Cons: Premiums can be relatively high for the amount of coverage, especially if you are older or have pre-existing health conditions.

Method 3: Payable-on-Death (POD) Bank Account

What it is: A standard savings account at your bank where you legally designate a beneficiary. It’s sometimes called a Totten Trust.
Pros: This is a simple, flexible, and often free option. You maintain full control over the money while you’re alive. Upon your death, your beneficiary can access the funds almost immediately by presenting a death certificate, completely bypassing the probate process.
Cons: You must have the discipline to save the necessary funds and not use them for other purposes.

3. The Final Arrangements: Your Memorial

This is where you outline your preferences for how you would like to be remembered. Being clear here can prevent immense stress and potential disagreements among family members. But remember, the living have the last say, especially if you don’t pay for it in advance.

The Service: Describe the tone and style of the event you envision.
- Do you want a traditional, religious funeral service, a quiet graveside ceremony, a joyous “celebration of life” party, or no service at all?
Specific Details to Consider:
- Venue: Do you have a preferred funeral home, place of worship, or other venue in mind?
- Participants: Is there a specific person you’d like to officiate the service or deliver a eulogy? Are there people you’d like to be pallbearers?
- Atmosphere: Are there specific songs, hymns, poems, or readings you would like included? What kind of music captures your spirit?
- Obituary: You can draft your own obituary or leave a list of key facts, milestones, and memories you’d like included. You can also specify where you’d like it published.
- In Lieu of Flowers: If you prefer, name a specific charity or cause you would like people to donate to in your memory.

4. Care for Your Dependents: Pets & People

For many, the well-being of their dependents is their biggest concern. Provide a detailed care plan.

For Your Pets:

Designate a Caregiver: Name a primary caregiver and at least one backup who have already agreed to take on this responsibility.
Create a “Pet Profile”: Provide a detailed guide for each pet, including:
- Vet’s name and contact information.
- Food brand, feeding schedule, and any dietary restrictions.
- Medication list, dosages, and schedule.
- Temperament details: favorite toys, fears, habits, and how they like to be comforted.
Financial Provision: Clearly state how you have provided for their care, whether through funds left directly to the caregiver or a more formal pet trust.

For Other Dependents:

If you are the primary caregiver for a child with special needs, a disabled adult, or an elderly parent, the need for a detailed plan is even more critical. Document their daily routines, medical needs, doctors, medications, and the financial arrangements you have made for their future care.

5. Sentimental Possessions: The Story of Your Things

Your will typically handles items of significant monetary value, but family disputes often arise over items of sentimental value. You can help prevent this.

Create a Personal Property Memorandum: This is a simple, informal letter that is separate from your will. In it, you can designate who should receive specific items that aren’t necessarily valuable but are full of meaning.
Be Specific: Instead of a general statement, list the item and the intended person. “I would like my collection of cast-iron skillets to go to my grandson, Mark.”
Explain “Why”: The most powerful part of this document is adding a short, personal reason for the gift. “…because he loved cooking with me in the kitchen, and I want him to continue our family traditions.” This context transforms the item into a treasured legacy and helps prevent hurt feelings among other family members.

6. Final Messages: Your Last Words

This is your opportunity to leave a final, profound gift of connection and love.

Write Personal Letters: Consider writing individual, sealed letters to your most important people—your spouse or partner, children, parents, and best friends.
What to Say: This is deeply personal, but you might share a favorite memory, express your love and pride, offer a piece of life advice, or share your hopes for their future. This is your chance to say everything you would want them to hear.
Create a “Read Me First” Document: As a cover letter for your entire Legacy Plan binder, write a warm, gentle message to your executor. Thank them for taking on the role, explain the binder’s purpose, and give them a message of love and encouragement to help them begin this difficult but important final task for you.

Place these documents in your central Legacy Plan binder. This collection of wishes is a final act of guidance, ensuring your voice is heard and your love is felt long after you are gone.

The “Essential Kit” Checklist

The Disposition Plan: Written choice (Burial/Cremation/Donation).
The Funding Mechanism: POD Account or Insurance Policy identified.
The Pet Profile: Detailed care instructions and confirmed guardian.
The Personal Property Memo: List of sentimental items and recipients.
The “Read Me First” Letter: A guide for your executor.
The Sealed Letters: Personal messages for family members.

The Scenario Planner (Contingencies)

Murphy’s Law Variation 1: “I want a simple cremation, but my family feels guilty and overspends.”

The Trap: Families often choose expensive options because they feel “cheap” if they don’t.
The Fix: Be explicit. Write: “I prefer Direct Cremation. Please use the money saved to have a nice family dinner instead.” This absolves them of guilt.

Murphy’s Law Variation 2: “We don’t know if Dad wanted a religious service.”

The Trap: Agnostic deceased, religious family (or vice versa). This causes arguments at the funeral home.
The Fix: The Memorial Blueprint. Even a simple note (“No religious service, just play my favorite jazz records”) resolves the conflict before it starts.

Previous: Read Part 1: The Legacy Protocol to learn about creating your legal foundation, financial map, and digital access plan.